Why do all my poems seem to be about dudes?

This poem is inspired by a vision that I had during a session with sound healer Louise Cloutier, who is also a singer and songwriter, and is awesome. She performs about once a month at Life Force Arts Center, definitely worth checking out if you're in Chicago.

Rock-solid man
I breathe and melt
feeling your presence across the desert sands as you stumble blindly,
called to me by an unknown power.

I know you won't find me, not any time soon. Yet I will not move toward you.

I am here, standing on a sand dune as the wind plays with my hair and skirt. I am here, in deep communion with my Creator.

When you find me, touch me gently. If your sight returns, I will be with you.

On What Is #7

I was told by a psychic that rejection and betrayal are a part of my karma. I am apparently drawn to them like a moth to a flame. This is the first straw to break that camel's back.

I like cliches. So sue me. :D

Go ahead. Take this heart.
Stomp on it. Stomp it to death. Beat it to an unrecognizable, bloody pulp and throw it under the bus.

You will find that what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
And what does kill me, makes me stronger.

I will rise a thousand times from these ashes. I will dance wildly on my own grave. No one can keep me from this joyous communion, this passionate coupling for which I need no partner but my own soul.

On What Is #2

I realized that the imaginary man I have been calling Makani is in fact something else entirely. I am just now getting to know who he really is, just scratching the surface. Is he an aspect of me, an aspect of the Divine, or both? Is there a difference?

Makani is two men.
He rides the wind through my heart and body, he touches the deep, dark, hurt places and sets the waterfalls flowing.
And yet he is a distant man with a harsh lesson, a man who kicked me off the pier into the ocean, a man who stays out of sight and out of reach while I wander in the wilderness alone to do the work I must do, to find the answers I must find.
The promise of his love is like an endless smile from heaven. He carries me to faith.
And he leaves me alone in the water to sink or swim.
He is the Beloved and he is my teacher. I know him intimately and I have just now met him.
Something is beginning.

On What Is #1

I've been inspired to write a series of poems on the current state of things--on loving and accepting exactly what is existing in the moment. Here goes~

The bottom has fallen out of me. I am a cup overturned, a gaping abyss. All falls through.
Can't hold on to a thing.
The walls clutch tight, uselessly.
Lava under pressure rises up my spine.
All is in motion.
Nothing is certain.
I dance in the void with my Divine Mother.

Best damn song in the world

I've got a playlist on my iPod that makes me feel the way I would feel if I were with the man that I want to be with. (It's important to have such things when working with the law of attraction.) It is mostly Hawaiian music, with a couple of my own compositions thrown in for good measure. This song, which just made it onto the list, pretty much says it all from the guy's point of view. I love the language, and the not-subtle sexual innuendo.

So yeah, I didn't write this one. Sue me. ;P My favorite version of it is by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, and can be gotten on iTunes; go download it! (That particular version makes me giggle like a fool because he changes the lyrics a bit, it goes "Our lips have met, our eyes not yet, you make me wet :D for you and I!" If he were a woman, I'd not enjoy that verse nearly as much.

Henehene Kou 'Aka
Merry Your Laughter
(A Traditional Song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WEXQyxQkQs

Henehene kou `aka, kou le`ale`a paha
Merry your laughter, your gaiety perhaps
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I
A usual thing this, for you and I
Henehene kou `aka, kou le`ale`a paha
Merry your laughter, your gaiety perhaps
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I.
A usual thing this, for you and I.


Ka`a uila mâkâneki, `oni`oni kou kino
Car electro-magnetic (streetcar), jiggles your body
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I
A usual thing this, for you and I
Ka`a uila mâkâneki, `oni`oni kou kino
Car electro-magnetic (streetcar), jiggles your body
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I.
A usual thing this, for you and I.

I Kaka`ako mâkou, `ai ana pipi stew
We were at Kaka'ako, eating beef stew
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I
A usual thing this, for you and I
I Kapahulu mâkou, `ai ana lîpoa
At Kapahulu we (are), eating brown seaweed
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I
A usual thing this, for you and I
I Waikîkî mâkou, `au ana i ke kai
At Waikîkî we (are), swimming in the sea
He mea ma`amau ia, we put inside.
A usual thing this, we put inside.


Our eyes have met, our lips are wet
Mâlama pono kou kino, ah, when we put inside
Take care well your body, ah, when we put inside
Ha`ina mai ka puana, kou le`ale`a paha
Tell the summary refrain, your gaiety perhaps.
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I.
A usual thing this, for you and I.


Ha`ina mai ka puana, kou le`ale`a paha
Tell the summary refrain, your gaiety perhaps.
He mea ma`amau ia, for you and I,
for you and I, for you and I...
A usual thing this, for you and I, for you and I, for you and I...

The Call #10

Well, here you go. The series has reached its logical end point--a healthy, stable, monogamous, committed relationship that feels a certain way. Now the question--will this play out in real life? And if it does, what happens if he reads this? Will he flip out?

I figure, I want to be with someone who can handle it. Someone who's not going to freak out at the fact that--oh my God--I have this shocking desire to be in a healthy relationship. I mean, it's a desire that is common to most people, so why should anyone be ashamed of it?

The way it is with Makani is like this
there is always the mystery between us.

There is never any doubt that he is mine and I am his
Yet the secrets of his heart are his own to keep.

And he does not pry into mine. Yet he seeks to know me, completely, the woman I am now.

The Call #9

.

Makani is the oak and I am the willow
his strong arms reach heavenwards
I bend and sway gently in the breeze

Makani is the oak and I am the willow
you think I weep but it is the overflowing of the abundance of my joy
you think he is immovable but in the night his branches reach out for mine

Makani is the oak and I am the willow
two completely different trees we are
yet joined, inseparably, nonetheless

The Call #6

This is my favorite poem in the series because he finally shows up! I get a mental image of a tall, weathered, dark-haired man, walking and singing. I feel somewhat embarrassed to be so excited about something I wrote--but that's the whole point! It *should* make you feel something. It doesn't need to make anyone else feel anything--that is the difference between creation artwork and artwork produced for others. I wonder if any actual guy would think like this--but it produces the right feeling in me.

I am as old as the hills
and it does not matter.
I have the wellspring of vitality within.
I have within me what you need.

All I have, I lay at your graceful feet,
I reach within myself and bring it forth for you,
it is my greatest pleasure to give it to you.

Only let me enter by the gates of your lush garden.
Let me drink the pure spring water from your overflowing well.
Let me find rest in your warm embrace, sanctuary in your arms, nourishment in your breasts.

The Call #5

A hundred gentle breezes
A hundred little loving spirits
They are all around me
All around me, smiling at me
Letting me know I'm on the right path.

A hundred beautiful men blown into my life on the wind
A hundred beautiful moments, a wink, a smile, a nod
A hundred feeling memories to hold in the corners of my mind
I feel his presence, behind the men, wooing me, teasing me, reassuring me.

He's just on the other side of the veil.

The Call #3

Descending

Chakra 7

an obelisk in a circular pool
water cascading down the sides, smoothly, steadily
clearest water that ever flowed.
bluest sky, brightest sun
a lush flower garden and a city on the horizon

Chakra 6

deepest indigo violet curtains on the interior wall
darkness, silence, blue flame.
the voice of the Big She can be heard, softly, in a whisper.

Chakra 5

A song, high, clear, the sound of a crystal bell
rainbow prisms, sparkling light
breath carries the voice over the wind, over the meadow
to the ears of those who are called to hear.

Chakra 4

The fountain is warm, the temperature of blood
the sunshine warm, the fire warm
expansion effortless
touching gently, bouncing off lightly, laughter, bubbles

Chakra 3

The fierce Me leaps from the crumbling earth to a higher ground that is also in free fall. Quick, decisive leaps. Sure foot. Sure heart.

Chakra 2

Fire rages, lava flows.
A water wheel turns forever.
Here stands the eternal windmill that powers all creation.

Chakra 1

black. white. bang.
I AM.
i am not.

The Call #2

A garden within

in the center of the universe
a clear, overflowing fountain
centered in a courtyard of low-hanging trees

nymphs dance among the trees with wild abandon

eyes open wide, I surrender

The Call #1

The Call

I am a clear pool, deep and still
beneath my waters a wild garden grows
seaweed and lotus, goldfish and koi
gold, rubies, and emeralds--thrown into the sparkling water one day long ago

Leave your clothes hanging over a low branch of the oak tree
Step in slowly, feel the cool wetness gliding gently over your bare feet