Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Publicly naked

I'm feeling quite overwhelmed right now...overwhelmed and scared and excited all at once. The reason being, I am finding myself called to service in four very different places at the same time. There is my "day" job in the financial industry, where I work for a company that is currently working on the largest project of its kind in history--and what I do or don't do has a definite effect on the bottom line. And then my side job as a wedding dress designer. And now, in addition, though I wanted to avoid it, I've been called to volunteer positions with two spiritually based organizations--one that calls itself Christian, one that calls itself alternative, both brought to my awareness by the Divinity Itself.

I don't know how I'm going to do this. The road ahead is fraught with a hundred million opportunities to fall, and a million million opportunities for my weaknesses to be exposed. I suppose this is where all my training of becoming completely open and vulnerable in sacred space is supposed to come in handy--but I have little desire to be so vulnerable out in the real world!

It doesn't matter, though. God wants me here, exactly where I am, as exactly who I am--and all I really have to do is listen to His voice and do what it says.

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