Dive into the ocean of your own mind.
Swim deeply in the waters of your own spirit.
Unearth the long-buried temple within your heart,
explore its wide open spaces,
stand in awe before its pillars.

This space, so long forgotten, contains all you want.
This space, so long forgotten, contains all you need.

Vision

Infinite beauty is at our feet, if we will walk in it. We walk into the infinite beauty by walking on water--by walking so gently that all we leave is a subtle ripple on the surface of the still, clean pool as we move across, slowly and surely.

We dance together on the surface of the water. He draws me strongly into his arms. He draws me up, spinning blissfully--he has made me his, as God has made me his. He is the face of God that is created, is existent, as the Lover specially made for me. Everyone has his own God-Lover inside.

the other man

You were my opium, your gentle touch
sending waves of adrenaline
through all my veins,
lighting my face with a smile,
heating my body with fire.

But a drug does not choose who will consume it.
And I longed deep within to be chosen.
And now a man within my heart has chosen me.

True, he has neither skin nor bones nor any substance I can touch.
True, he has no resonant voice to vibrate my cold heart back to life.
But he speaks to me through the rising of the sun.
He touches me through the invisible current of cosmic energy.
He loves me through a vision that only I can see.

I still love you, and nothing is your fault,
but never again
will I cherish your illicit pleasures
deep within my heart and body
as though loving an inert substance were the best I could hope for.

Animus

A man alone, walking purposefully,
raging waterfalls at his back,
draws his bow,
launches flaming arrows,
one after another,
farther than the eye can see.

Who is he? What is he doing? Finally he turns and I see his face.
Rugged, clean-shaven, wild brown hair--a warrior!

Who is this warrior? I gaze at his face,
trying in vain to decipher the mystery.
Then, watching the gentle, determined energy of his walk,
suddenly, I know him.
He is me, and I am he.

A spinster's web

Working tirelessly
Singlemindedly
Painstakingly, cutting hundreds of intricate forms from the fabric,
one stitch at a time to bless the new bride,
while I remain desolate, cast out, unloved.

You cannot declare bankruptcy for karmic debt.
You can only pay it with your own blood.
Working is cleaning, giving is cleaning,
Polishing the mirror surface of your soul,
So that someday you might find your love clearly reflected back without distortion.

The beggars at the train station have learned this well.
With nothing tangible to give,
They nonetheless give the most precious gift of all,
Calling out "God bless you!" to every ear that hears.

Psalm: Rebirth

I have gorged myself on the sweet, forbidden fruit
Of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

I have eaten sin, sucked the marrow out of its bones,
endlessly stuffed my mouth with the flesh and blood of my brothers.

Nourished by violence, my body became violent,
muscles filled with angry, red inflammation,
mind filled with dark, swirling chaos.
My body became violent and rioted against me, making plans to throw me out.

But you reached for me through a long-forgotten voice,
licking at a far corner of my mind,
slowly filling my angry body with your light and presence over many years,
shaking out all the rage,
squeezing out all the tears.

While the outside of my life raged against me and fell apart,
leaving me completely broken on the rocks,
you entered me with your gentle power,
and made me into an apricot tree,
rooted in you,
now blossoming,
now bearing fruit.

Publicly naked

I'm feeling quite overwhelmed right now...overwhelmed and scared and excited all at once. The reason being, I am finding myself called to service in four very different places at the same time. There is my "day" job in the financial industry, where I work for a company that is currently working on the largest project of its kind in history--and what I do or don't do has a definite effect on the bottom line. And then my side job as a wedding dress designer. And now, in addition, though I wanted to avoid it, I've been called to volunteer positions with two spiritually based organizations--one that calls itself Christian, one that calls itself alternative, both brought to my awareness by the Divinity Itself.

I don't know how I'm going to do this. The road ahead is fraught with a hundred million opportunities to fall, and a million million opportunities for my weaknesses to be exposed. I suppose this is where all my training of becoming completely open and vulnerable in sacred space is supposed to come in handy--but I have little desire to be so vulnerable out in the real world!

It doesn't matter, though. God wants me here, exactly where I am, as exactly who I am--and all I really have to do is listen to His voice and do what it says.