I realized that the imaginary man I have been calling Makani is in fact something else entirely. I am just now getting to know who he really is, just scratching the surface. Is he an aspect of me, an aspect of the Divine, or both? Is there a difference?
Makani is two men.
He rides the wind through my heart and body, he touches the deep, dark, hurt places and sets the waterfalls flowing.
And yet he is a distant man with a harsh lesson, a man who kicked me off the pier into the ocean, a man who stays out of sight and out of reach while I wander in the wilderness alone to do the work I must do, to find the answers I must find.
The promise of his love is like an endless smile from heaven. He carries me to faith.
And he leaves me alone in the water to sink or swim.
He is the Beloved and he is my teacher. I know him intimately and I have just now met him.
Something is beginning.
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why did you invent this imaginary man (Makani)?
ReplyDeleteDid you address this in one of your blogs? I'm still reading, so I may have not gotten to it yet...
I have to admit I felt terrified when I saw this comment. Because normal people just don't go inventing imaginary members of the opposite sex, right? After writing to you and hearing back, though, I am feeling that perhaps everybody has these kind of secrets hidden within, and that talking about them is not such a strange thing after all.
ReplyDeleteI suppose the world we live in now is very different from the world I grew up in. That world would have had me locked up in a mental institution for saying the things I've said here. In that world, also, blatant racial discrimination colored every aspect of my life. It's hard to believe that was only 20 years ago. I don't know if the world has really changed that much...but MY world certainly has.